mymompickedthisurl:

an animal not wanting me petting it hurts more than any anon ever could

deair:

if you can have a long and meaningful conversation with me even though we haven’t seen or talked to each other in super super long and not make things awkward you are hella special

jncera:

If your name is nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy

  • Cute boy in class: can I have a piece of paper?
  • Me: sure *hands him a marriage certificate*